Fetlife was not created as a meeting portal but more like a social network whose FetLife is the Social Network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky Community.

You will be able to meet kinksters living near you but you will not be able to categorize them by sex or by role. This naughty platform allows you to meet other people like you but does not offer functionalities themselves. The designer preferred to accentuate the social aspect more than meetings. Thus, you will be able to easily participate in discussion groups or events. During the summer season 2016, the site has experienced a new update with the introduction of a verification system through SMS instead of an invitation system become too accessible. In short, let us discover more in detail this social network of meeting.

General information about Fetlife

  • BDSM community only
  • Nearly 6,700,000 members on the portal
  • More than 8,000,000 discussions
  • 119,000 groups
  • 650,000 organized outings
  • 2,900,000 articles on the blog
  • Over 530,000 videos and 35,000,000 images

Creating a Profile on Fetlife

Creating a Profile on Fetlife

Each registered member on Fetlife has a user profile. A member has the opportunity to join a host of profiles but it is forbidden to have a multi-account. Indeed, it would go in this case against the Terms of Use.

Your age and place of residence should be available from your profile but do not need to be honest if you do not want to. A majority of members refers to Antarctica as a place to live and 93 years to their age. In addition, there are twelve different sexual orientations and more than sixty roles. These will be displayed on your profile, just like your fetishes.

Finally, you have the opportunity to write a text description on your profile, without any word limits. Your profile will obviously be visible to all other registrants. However, you will have the option to block a member if you do not want him to view your profile or even get in touch with you.

How Fetlife Website Works

Previously, a member could have the creation of a group dedicated to the fetish of his choice. However, following an update in January 2017, the group has temporarily disabled this feature. At the same time, it was also decided to abolish some already existing groups, mainly including the following words: “blood”, “needle”, “rape” or “incest”. Finally, the functionality was again available under certain conditions.

By becoming a member of the social network Fetlife, you will have the opportunity to participate in “munchs”. These are meetings in public places that do not require pressure or dress so you can make first contact with this particular community. These events are open to everyone, whether you are a novice or a more experienced person, without any commitment.

It is therefore the perfect moment to make acquaintances when one is not sure of one’s choices. As for the online part, you will have the opportunity to add members as friends and be able to interact with them, especially through photos. Indeed, you can post photos online and view those of other members for free. It can be artistic, erotic and even some photos just send a photo of their sex to excite you.

The features of Fetlife

The features of Fetlife

Among the proposed features, you will find basic tools like private messaging, possibility to publish writings (similar to Facebook wall), photographs and videos. Photos and videos are forbidden if they have not been taken by the member himself.

Registration to the portal is completely free but you will need to subscribe to a subscription if you want to view the videos of other members. In this case, you will receive a badge “I support Fetlife” which indicates your financial participation in the platform. In the past, the site had a chat that was deleted in 2016. You can write a comment to the post of other members. These are public and can not be modified or deleted later.

In addition, the site also offers outings between members, a forum in English and a category “Writing” reserved for testes written by members, it is also in English.

Interface and use of Fetlife

The interface of the platform is clean and clear. You will access the instant messenger in a free and unlimited way. The profiles are searchable by all registered members but they are not indexed so easily accessible by all people who register on the platform. So, if you do not want to talk too much about it, it is better to be discreet. Finally, the portal is also ergonomic since a navigation bar at the top of the page allows you to find the various information necessary for its proper functioning.

The community of Fetlife

In 2018, the site hosts a community of nearly eight million registered members across the globe including a few thousand French. The site is open to all types of people and does not focus solely on the sadomasochistic relationship only. Indeed, you will be able to register whatever your sexual orientation.

In addition, you will have a role to select so that other members can easily identify you. You will have the choice between being a dominant, a top, a mistress, a bottom, a submissive, a slave, a pet, a switch, a fetishist, a sadist, a masochist, a sado-masochist, a vanilla or finally a kingster.

Feel free to look on the Internet if you do not know the definition of these different names. Finally, you will find on the portal many groups on the subject. Indeed, one finds in particular: “Ask a mistress”, “Ask a submissive” or “Ask a dominant”.

Moderation on the Fetlife website

The moderation of the dating portal is participatory because it is proposed to members to report any illegal content or that which would be against the Terms of Fetlife. Once you have reported a member, the moderation team will take the necessary steps to sanction it. It will send him a warning first and then if the member continues the offenses, he may be banned from the platform. It is therefore strongly advised to respect the rules applied on this one. In addition, you can also block a member if you do not want it to bother you. You will find the button in the same place as the report.

Reviews of the site

In 2012, the Fetlife portal is at the center of a controversy over the policy where registered members pledge not to “make criminal charges against other members in a public forum”.

This was criticized by a multitude of members since it was based on the fact that censoring the posts of victims of sexual assaults, especially about their attackers, did not allow them to warn other members. The group reprimanded and justified themselves by preventing the members from accusing people of crimes that served not to say slanders about innocent members.

These are not the only criticisms received by the site since it was also accused of not being confidential. The portal is not indexed by the search engines while Fetlife is presented as being confidential and secure. Thus, many kidnappers were able to go to the portal to find the topics that interested them to achieve their ends. As a result, several hundred categories of fetishes have been removed to avoid any risk.

Registration Process on Fetlife

Registration on Fetlife is fast, completely free and easy to do. Simply fill in the following fields: your nickname, your password, your gender, your sexual orientation, your role, your date of birth, your place of residence and finally your e-mail. As you will understand, you have very little personal information to provide. Once done, you will need to enter your phone number so that the portal sends you an SMS that will validate your registration and certify that you are not a robot. And that’s it, you can navigate the pages of the portal and make new acquaintances.

Fetlife Fees and Pricing

The Fetlife platform does not offer a subscription per se, but offers to participate by giving five euros per month to access the videos. Indeed, you will not be able to consult the videos of the other members of free way, which is a pity. In addition, this “subscription” also makes it possible to visualize the publications longer and thus to be able to watch more.

The proposed customer support

If you have problems on the platform, you can contact customer service through the following email address: support@fetlife.com. This is one of the Portal’s strengths as nearly fifty volunteer members are available to assist you during your use of the platform through interesting information and links. You will also appreciate their great speed.

The advantages and disadvantages of Fetlife

Finally, you have found your space devoted to the BDSM community! More a social network than a real dating site, the portal must still rectify certain points as its internal search engine.

Strong points

  • A real space for the BDSM community
  • Ease of use
  • Paid offer available at a reasonable rate
  • Customer service
  • Codes of a social network

Weak points

  • Internal search engine;
  • Little French
  • Portal popularity.

User reviews and feedback

Opinion of Léon – 41 years old: Fetlife is one of the best community fetish portals of the web. Drawing inspiration from Facebook, this platform proves to be much less interactive. One thing is for sure: if you want a real-life, easy-to-use and inexpensive BSDM dating experience, I highly recommend Fetlife. You have nothing to lose by testing the platform! Although as French, I have a little trouble since the platform is mostly North American!

Opinion of Paloma – 30 years: Despite the fact that the portal is American, there are various French groups on the platform. Even though FetLife is a great site, I think it’s harder for men to connect than for women. In addition, prices are not expensive! To test !


To conclude, the Fetlife portal is special. For the French BDSM community, it is an excellent entertainment but it will not allow you to make real meetings. If you want to find the partner with whom you will not have taboo, go more to French sites. Fetlife is only great for viewing photos, videos and discovering stories from other members.